1. She won't unlock car door for him.
-Doesn't engage in oral sex.

2. He gets in car without opening door for her.
-No foreplay.

3. He can't hail a cab.
-Impotent.

4. He insists on going to a brand new restaurant.
-Prefers virgins.

5. She insists on going to a brand new restaurant but gets lost on the way there.
-Is a virgin.

6. He insists on going to a romantic, candlelit restaurant.
-Compulsive Don Juan.

7. He insists on going to a homey little cafe.
-Compulsive Don Quixote.

8. He insists on going to a Polynesian bar.
-Compulsive Don Ho.

9. She wants to go to a French restaurant.
-Will swallow.

10. She wants to go to a deli.
-Won't swallow.

11. She uses Sweet n' Low.
-Wears falsies.

12. She takes too long deciding what to order.
-Has trouble reaching orgasm.

13. She orders salad dressing on the side.
-Will give a hand job, but won't go "all the way".

14. She gives explicit orders to the waiter or waitress.
-Will expect incredibly skillful gymnastics in bed.

15. He insists on ordering for you.
-Thinks that you had an orgasm when you didn't.

16. He asks for "the usual".
-Insists on missionary position only.

17. He asks what the specials are.
-Will want you to use handcuffs.

18. He fills up on bread and crackers.
-Premature ejaculator.

19. He doesn't finish everything on the plate.
-Has already cum.

20. He insists on having some of what you ordered.
-Will make you sleep on the wet spot.

21. He changes mind after ordering.
-Will never call you.

22. She changes tables.
-Nymphomaniac.

23. She drinks decaf.
-Fakes orgasm. (Female)

24. He orders in French.
-Fakes potency. (Male)

25. He sends food back.
-Will sleep with you, brag to all his friends, and then try to borrow money.

26. She asks for detailed descriptions of the desserts.
-Needs you to talk dirty during sex.

27. He orders a dessert involving ladyfingers.
-Wants a hand job.

28. She orders a dessert involving nuts.
-Castrating bitch.

29. She wants to split dessert.
-Is dying to move in with you and rearrange all your closets.

30. His credit card is refused.
-Low sperm count.

31. He undertips waiter.
-Small penis.

32. He undertips parking valet.
-Small penis.

33. He undertips cabbie.
-Small penis.

34. He uses a toothpick.
-Is trying to tell you size isn't everything.

35. He has a removable cassette player in car.
-Pulls out repeatedly during sex.

36. He has a cellular phone in car.
-Has a penile implant.