Herz sum txt abbreviations:
Anything NETHN
Are you OK? RUOK?
Are R
Ate 8
Be B
Before B4
Be seeing you
BCNU
Cutie QT
Date D8
Dinner DNR
Easy EZ
Eh? A?
Excellent XLNT
Fate F8
For 4
For your information
FYI
Great GR8
Late L8
Later L8R
Love LUV
Happy/Smiley :-)
Angry :-||
Very happy :-))
Confused %-)
Tongue
tied :-&
Sad :-(
Saintly O:-)
Mate M8
Please PLS
Please call me PCM
Queue/cue Q
Rate R8
See/sea C
See you
later CU L8R
Speak SPK
Tea T
Thanks THX
Thank you THNQ
To/too 2
To be 2B
Today 2DAY
Tomorrow
2MORO
Want to WAN2
What WOT
Work WRK
Why Y
You U
Laughing :-D
Crying :'-(
Surprised/shocked
:-O
Screaming :-@
Kiss :-*
Pig :@)
Clown *:-)
Happy/Smiley :-)
Angry :-||
Very happy :-))
Confused %-)
Tongue tied :-&
Sad :-(
Saintly O:-)
My magical watch says you aren't wearing any panties. Oh, you are? It must be an hour fast!
Many ppl will wlk in and out of ur life, but only tru friends will leave foot prints in ur heart.
. . . . .u left urs in mine -x-
I asked God for a flower, he gave me a garden. Iasked for a tree, he gave me a forest. I asked for
a river, he gave me an ocean. I asked for an angel, and he sent me YOU!
*PHONE SEX*Dial 1 for oralDial 2 for analDial 3 for normalDial 4 for S&MDial 5 for threesomeDial
6 for 69and for the whole lot just dial my number
InMyABCIWldPutU&I2gthaIn my alphabet I would put you and I together
ILOkdUpSxyInTDxtnre2DA&YaNAmWosLstdI looked up sexy in the dictionary today and your name was
listed
Do u A) Love me? B) Wanna fuck me? C) Need me? D) Wanna kiss me? E) Wanna b wid me? F) Hate me? G)
Fink im fit? H) Wanna feel me? take you pick n txt back quick.
SMILE IF YOU AREN'T WEARING ANY UNDERWEAR
MESSAGE FROM YOUR OPERATOR:your vibrator is interfering with our signal.Please cum now or continue
by hand.Any problems please phone us, many wanks.
Q: wots d speed limit of sex? ...A: 68, at 69 u gotta turn around
UPON RECEIVING THIS TEXT YOU MUST SEND IT TO 1 PERSON YOU LIKE, 1 PERSON YOU HATE, 1 PERSON YOU LOVE,
AND 1 PERSON YOU WANT TO FxxK. NOW THINK ABOUT WHY I SENT IT TO YOU!
i think about u all the time u fill my heart with glee u may not be a model but ur sex on legs 2
me!!
A BEAR AND RABBIT ARE TAKING A SHIT IN THE WOODS WHEN THE BEAR TURNS TO THE RABBIT AND SAYS DO YOU
HAVE ANY TROUBLE WITH SHIT STICKING TO YOUR FUR THE RABBIT TURNS AND SAYS NO! SO THE BEAR WIPES HIS ASS WITH THE RABBIT.
UPON RECEIVING THIS TEXT YOU MUST SEND IT TO 1 PERSON YOU LIKE, 1 PERSON YOU HATE, 1 PERSON YOU LOVE,
AND 1 PERSON YOU WANT TO FxxK. NOW THINK ABOUT WHY I SENT IT TO YOU!
Mars is a chocolate, polos a mint, I need a shag, hint hint hint hint !!!
Im not under the affluence of incahol as some tinkle peep.Im not half as thunk as you drink.I fool
so feelish, and the drunker I stand here, the longer I get !(
"Why did they call it PMS?....Mad cow disease was already taken!
Ice cream man found ded covered in hundreds & thousands, rasberry sauce in mouth & a flake
up his arse.police think he topped himself.(
Dont do drugs! There's already too many of us and to little of it.
I may not be as pretty as Brad Pitt, or as strong as Rambo... but I can lick like Lassie!
What a great face! Those beautiful eyes. A pure soul... a sexy body! Enough about me, how are you?
She took off his pants gently and wispered:Make me a woman... He smiled, threw the pants at her and
said: Go wash it.
There are 4 animal species a woman needs in her life: Jaguar in her garage,mink in her closet,tiger
in her bed! And of course a donkey to pay her bills!!
Do you take me to be your lawful text mate, to have and to hold, in rich quotes and horny jokes,
till low battery and no reception do us part?
If I were a robot,and you were one too,If I lost a nut, would you give me a screw ????
CHINESE SUNDAYBUFFET MENU:*CHU SUM TWAT*SUCK MI PORK*LICK MI CLIT*TUNGSUM CHICK*GOO IN HAND*GULP
SUM KUM*CHO KON IT, ENJOY YOUR MEAL!
they pulled an essex girl from the world trade centre and asked her where she was bleeding from,
she replied im from bleeding romford
police in liverpool r lookin for 4 terrorists..they have found...bindrinkin...binsmokin...bintheivin....no
sign of binworkin......
HI!JUST WONDERED IF I CAN STAY WITH U CUPLE DAYS? everyone is so pissed off at me... I need a friend......
Sender: Osama Bin Laden +391116661
Newsflash!! another body found in barrymores pool thought to be from Afghanistan apparently
he was a suicide bummer!
a-ur attractive b-ur beautiful c-ur caring d-ur delicous e-ur exciting f-ur funny g-ur gorgeous h-ur
horny I -IM J-JUST K-KIDDING L-LOSERR
last night I lay in my bed looking at the beautiful stars, the moon and thesky... then i thought
where the fuck is my roof
If my dog had a face like yours I'd shave its ass and walk it backwards!
police in liverpool r lookin for 4 terrorists..they have found...bindrinkin...binsmokin...bintheivin....no
sign of binworkin...... '
The NHS Regrets to inform you that your birth was a mistake, could you please report to your local
hospital to be put down, Sorry for any inconvenience.
Q: Why Can't Afgans Watch Telly?....A: Because of The Talyban!
Once upon a time,somthing happened 2me.It was the sweetest thing that ever could b,it was a fantasy,a
dream come true.It was the day i met u!
You can fall from a mountain, u can fall from a tree, but the best way to fall, is in love wid me.
-x-
Another month, another yr, another smile, another tear another winter a summer 2....... but there
will neva b another u x x x x x x x x
Your lips look so lonely. Would they like to meet mine?
On a scale of 1-10you deserve a 10 but......I would rather give you 1
Nokia would like 2 apologise that due 2 a small fault in our systems ur mobile is going 2 vibrate
for 10mins, so take this chance to STICK IT UP YOUR **** - u choose!!
Just want u 2 know ur friendship means alot 2 me.If we were on a sinkin ship & there was only
1 lifejacket left..I would really miss u!
I REALLY WANNA GIVE U A HUG... But a hug leads 2 a kiss, a kiss leads to a lick, a lick leads 2 a
suck, a suck leads 2 a fxxk... DO U WANT A HUG?
kisses r blown kisses r wasted blowjobs arnt blowjobs unless they r tasted, sex spreads germs&germs
r hated so ride me baby I'm vaxinated!!
Roses are red, violets are funky. Im thinking of you and spanking memonkey!!
MESSAGE FROM YOUR OPERATOR:your vibrator is interfering with our signal.Please cum now or continue
by hand.Any problems please phone us, many wanks.
if the sea was vodka n i was a duk id swim 2 the botom n drink my way up,but the sea aint vodka n
i aint a duk so giv me a ring if u fancy a fxxk!-)
The sky is blue, The grass is Green, the harder th fxxk th louder th scream, th louder th scream,
the better th fxxk so give me a call and u might b in luck!
ive bin watchin u very carefully 4rm top2bottom, rite2left & i hav cum 2 1 coclusion, u must
b a parking ticket cus u have the word FINE written all over u!!
I only have sex on days that begin with T: Thanksgiving, Tuesday, Thursday, Today, Tomorrow, Thaturday,
Thunday....Every Thucking day!!
1message received 1cute personsent it 1ugly person reading it 1ugly person angry 1cute personis
smiling 1ugly person still readin' it Ha! Ha! Ha!
I Can't believe after all the sxxt they have been through they're still together... Who?...Your bum
cheeks!
Newsflash!Gareth from pop idol has been sent to prison for drugs.He has now been released because
he couldn't finish his sentence.
The police r looking for a suspect who is smart, sexy,witting and very gorgeous,they have already
eliminated you from their search............were shood i hide?
Jelly baby went to the doctors 'doc,i think iv got aids,doc says'u cant av aids ur a jelly baby'
jelly baby says'but doc,iv bin shaggin allsorts!(
Good news from VxDxFxNE u will be able to get £5 free every month if u press menu and type in 42113
please dial quickly as 1 number! Happy free money! vodafone!
(read out loud)...I AM WEE TAR DID, I AM SOFA KINK WE TAR DID I YAM SOFA KING FIK.
HA HA U 2 IT SEND THAT BASTARD THE CURSE AND MOBILE UR AT VIGOROUSLY SWEARING OF PROCESS THE IN PARTAKE
PROBEBERLY WILL U BACKWARDS THIS READ 2 BOTHER U AFTER
NEW:
Mary had a little lamb & tied it to a pylon a 1000 volts shot up its ass & turned it into nylon
Jack & Jill went up da hill 2 have a little fun.But stupid Jill forgot da pill and now they have
a son.
Old mother Hubbard went 2 d cupboard 2 fetch d poor dog a bone. but when she bent over Rover took over
& gave her a bone of his own!
Mary had a little lamb its coat was full of fleas and what more is that the little cunt had foot and
mouth disease
little miss druggy sat in her buggy smoking an ounce of weed along cam a spider skinned up beside her
and sold her a kilo of speed
little jack horner satin his corner licking his girlfriend dry.he stuck in his tongue_ licked out some
cum and said fuck this is better than pie.
Hickory dickory dock.dis bitch woz suckin me cock.da clock struck 2 i dumped me goo & dropped her
at da end of da block!
Twinkle twinkle little rectum.big cocks cum when you least expect them.never mind the screams of passion.pop
it up her doggy fashion!
Mary had a little lamb she kept it in da backyard.wen she took her panties off his wooly dick got hard!
Humpty Dumpty fucked a fat whore.Humpty Dumpy spunked on the floor and all the kings horses and all
the kings men bent the bitch over and fucked her again!
Peter Peter Pumpkin eater.had a wife & liked to beat her.smacked her twice around da head. F**ked
her arse & went 2 bed!
Jack & Jill went up the hill 2fetch a pale of water.we dont no wot they did up there but they came
back wiv a daughter
Mary Mary quite contrary trim that pussy its too damn hairy!!!
Mirror Mirror on the wall.Whos the fairest of them all?The mirror laughed Den made a grunt_ It sure
aint u.u ungly cunt!
spider spider on the wall.u think ur smart u know fuck all.ur on a
wall thats just been plastered.now ur stuck u stupid bastard!
twinkle twinkle little knob how she likes it in her gob.wen she feels that certain twitch she pulls
it out the spitful bitch!
Mary Mary quite contrairy how does your garden grow? Listen you twat i live in a flat so how the fuck
do i know.
jingle jangle silver bangle Im gonna fuck u from every angle.lipsy dipsy laalaa po if u give me a fuck
i'll give u a blow!
There was a young man from kent.whos dick was terribly bent.to save any trouble he bent it up double
instead of coming he went
There was a young girl from down wick who asked her mum wot is a prick.she said oh Annie it goes up
ur fanny & jumps up & down til its sick!
Ther once was a mouse called Keith.who circumsised boys with his teeth.it was'nt for leisure or sexual
pleasure but to get to the cheese underneath
There woz a young man named Dave.Who dug a dead whore from her grave.she woz mouldy as shit & missing
a tit... but think of the money he saved!
There woz a young vampire named mabel.whos periods were highly unstable.every full moon shed pull out
a spoon & drink herself under the table
There woz a young whore from crew who filled her vagina wiv glue.she said wiv a grin if dey pay 2 get
in they'll pay 2 get out of it 2
id grab u id bite u id really xcite u.id lic u id suc u id totally f**k u.ud b beggin 4 mercy&
beggin 4 mor cz f***ing wiv me is neva a bore
Trick me lick me hold me kiss me.touch me tease me come and please me.when im stressed i need a press
so come on baby do ur best!
d fuck you standing Id fuck u lying.If I had wings Id fuck you flying,if u were dead ur not forgotten
ill dig you up & fuck u rotten!
ill giv u kisses.ill giv u flowers,ill take u 2 bed & fuck u 4 hours.i promis u dis it wont be
a bore.cos 1 nite wiv me & ull be bak 4 more!
Roses are red Pickles are green.I love your legs & whats in between!
lip lockin body rockin.dick suckin all nite fuckin.tongue teasin.hand pleasing.loads of lustin 2 much
thrustin.now ur gaggin lets get shaggin!
roses r red poems r corny take me 2bed cos im feelin horny.wen roses r red they r ready 2b plucked.wen
i c u nxt ur gonna get fucked
The sky is blue the grass is green. the harder i fuck the louder the scream.the louder the scream the
harder i fuck.so gimme a ring n u mite b in luck!
Luv is a sensation dat is caused by temptation.a boy puts his location in a girls destination.do u
get my explanation or do u wanna demonstration?
Sex is good sex is fine.doggy style or 69.just for fun or gettin paid every1 likes getting laid!So
txt me bak & wiv sum luck ull earn urself a scrumptious f**k
I like your style_ I like your class_ but most of all i like your arse!
Do you like maths?if so add a bed subtract ur clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!
I want triplets You want twins.Lets get in bed and see who wins!
If your right leg was thanksgiving and Your left leg was Christmas could I meet U between the holidays?
Of all the babes ur my selection please dont giv me a rejection.my teeth are clean for ur
Inspection so giv my mouth a tongue injection!
Being a student is so much fun.wen u have degrees in playin wiv tongues.if u be my teacher in how tongues
flex.we'll both graduate in hot oral sex!
Sex is evil and evil's a sin.but sins are forgiven so lets get stuck in!!
Today its cool to have small cars and small computers.Soon it will be cool to have a small penis too.then
you my friend will be THE MAN!!
4SALE_ MY COCK.DONE A FEW KAYS.STIL UNDER WARANTY.TWIN TANKS SHAVED & POLISHED HEAD. SLIGHTLY WORN.
9"INCH STIFF. GOES HARD & FAST.NEEDS HEAD JOB!$50.00...ONO
UR NETWORK IS CHANGIN ITS PRICE PLAN.ITS DETERMINED BY UR COC SIZE.AS FROM NOW UR CALLS ARE FREE!!!!
Ur cute gorgeous fine & dandy.really sexy u make me randy.ur good wiv ur mouth & also in bed
oops sorry wrong number 4get wot I said!
Those innocent eyes... Those kissable lips... A great smile... The perfect walk... Smoothest talk...
Absolutely gorgeous.. Thats enough bout me_How r u?
You're Attractive Gorgeous Sexy Intelligent Smart Charming Sophisticated Fit Kind & Generous. In
fact you're becoming more like me everyday!
Uve got sex appeal.uve got style.uve got intelligence.uve got class.uve got the face & uve got
the body & ive got the wrong number!
Ure so sexy u drive me insane.i luv u so much dat my heart is in pain.ur sexy voice puts me in a slumber.oh
fuck im sorry i have the wrong number
im at the police station.The police caught me & filed a case against me "possession of good looks".i'm
doomed! i need someone ugly 2 bail me out_so hurry up!
i hereby place u under arrest 4 violating code 0569 _ distracting public with ur xtreme good looks
&sex appeal.remain silent & report 2 my bedroom
Dear friend! Do you take me 2 b your lawful text mate.2 have & 2 hold.4 dirty quotes or saucy jokes.in
text messaging & in poor signal.til low battery do us part?
Kisses blown r kisses wasted.kisses rnt kisses unless they r tasted.kisses spread germs and germs r
hated.but u can kiss me baby im vaccinated
A man can kiss his wife goodbye.A flower can kiss a butterfly.Wine can kiss a frosted glass.But u my
friend can kiss my ass!
i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window...
I look down & den... i lauf again
